Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
