I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
