I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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