We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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