drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize