another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
