so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
