I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
