i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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