I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
