guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
