You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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