a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
