I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize