It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
