I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize