Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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