The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
