Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
