shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
