community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
