I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
