If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
