No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
