batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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