went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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