this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he just fucked me for my cheese.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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