I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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