I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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