I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
