it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
sex in a hospital.. check
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
