ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
love makes seman taste better
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think a kid would responsible me up
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
