i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
