i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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