never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
