Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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