Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
