i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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