Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
