How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
