hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
