dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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