I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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