i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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