watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
