So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
