you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
