'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
