so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
