You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
