Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you would pick up someone in the library
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
