We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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