My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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