I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
