I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize