How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
