I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
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Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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