she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
