There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
