i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
