When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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