OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
