I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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