You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
