glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That accounts for only three of the penises
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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