i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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